


Self indulged Self destruction

by Commit_Arson



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Character Death, Dissociation, Execution, Good Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), I see character and give it my trauma, I'm a simple Jschlatt Apologist, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, It's Schlatt, Jschlatt Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Nightmares, Self-Destruction, Self-Hatred, This is pure self projection, Trans Character, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commit_Arson/pseuds/Commit_Arson
Summary: Burying Trauma can have bad side effect like self-destruction but to his blessing, there was an easy way out for him and he sure as hell took itor AkaI'm projecting onto Schlatt and no one can stop me
Comments: 13
Kudos: 68





	Self indulged Self destruction

Schlatt’s day started the same as always,

wake up at four from either being awoken by nightmares or still being awake due to guilt,

stare at the ceiling and think about every wrong thing you ever did,

finally, stand up after zoning out for half an hour and go to the bathroom, you need a damn shower,

as you go to the shower, don’t look in the mirror, never look in the mirror, you know how bad you look,

step into the shower, try not to look down but fail anyways,

you see every scar, every time you fail yourself, you see everything that is wrong with you from the burn scars on your stomach to the straight lines over your thigs to the now softly faded scars under your pecs.

get out of the shower, you don’t need to have another panic attack, your only doing it for attention anyway,

Finally, you look in the mirror, you see every small imperfection from how your face isn’t symmetrical to how the scar on your eyebrow doesn’t cleanly cut it or how your eyebags could probably be seen from miles away,

Snap out of the trance, brush your teeth, and put on your clothes, make sure they look okay

Give yourself a good look in the mirror before you head out, you notice more imperfections how your blazer is too loose, how your hips are too wide, and your waist too slim,

Finally leave it’s five now, get yourself a cup of coffee, the first and definitely not the last today,

then continue to your office, you have work but you’re tired, oh so tired, but you have more work to do,

Do said work, try not to zone out or pass out for that matter, so probably get another cup of coffee,

it’s now seven, the cabinet was awake, get yourself a cup of coffee, you notice the conversation stops as soon as you enter, it always does,

give them a good morning maybe a smile, if you want them to theorize on why you’re so happy,

then go back to your office and spend the rest of the day there, they don’t want to see you anyways and if they do, they’ll come to you.

Schlatt had taken a small pause which only turned into him Starring at his hands and how he had the need to break them, to bite into them until they’d bleed to bash them into the table, maybe break the table,

but the train off self-destruction thoughts was disturbed by a quiet knock.  
“come in” he didn’t actually want someone in his office especially not now, but it might be something important,

As the door open he was expecting Tubbo maybe Quackity who would probably only come in to tell him to finally go to sleep but no, it was Wilbur, Fucking Wilbur, and the rest of fucking Pogtopia, and there was Tubbo, his posture yelled fight but his eyes looked exhausted, a look he had seen too often in his own,

“Jschlatt, we’re here to take back what’s rightfully ours” Wilbur’s voice was calm but had an almost mad undertone, Schlatt only locked eyes with the leader and let out a shuddered breath,

Schlatt took off the blazer, that was too loose, his mind reminded him, stared to loosen the red tie around his neck, and took off every piece of jewelry but the thin engagement ring, he thought it was a promise of his best friend to never leave him but he knew otherwise, his traitorous mind whispered,

After the extensive removal of everything that made him look expansive, confident, royal he stood up from where he had been sitting for hours and slowly made his way towards someone he used to call a friend, what had happened to them,

As he got closer to Wilbur, every participant took out their weapon, whether sword, Axe, or crossbow, and pointed it at him, it brought a small smile to his face, they hated him, how nice, as he scanned the crowd he could see everyone, from Ponk to Skeppy, even George, while most either had a bored or concentrated expression on their face,

but Tubbo’s face looked horrified, Schlatt hated it, the boy was supposed to be sleeping, dreaming about better days and bee’s, not stand here and witness His soon to be execution, the same for Tommy, both too young to be this traumatized by war but still here they were,

A sigh left his lips as he turned his eyes back to Wilbur he looked more confused than anything else, “Hey, Wilbur do you remember lava rising? when I fucked you over and pushed you into the lava?” Wilbur’s face scrunched up “Of course I can still remember you power-hungry Asshole!” 

Schlatt slowly lowered himself in front of Wilbur, He took the tip of Wilburs Blade and slowly put it against his neck “How about some revenge Loverboy? Come on Kill me, Wilbur, I know you want to, I’ve known since the second I saw you fall and hit the lava” An audible gasp escaped from everyone “what the fuck Schlatt! in this some sick power game to you?” Wilbur screamed, Schlatt only looked at him, the exhaust in his face was clear “Do it, Loverboy, You won’t” and with that The blade struck down, as it hit three screams were heard, Quackity, Tubbo, and Tommy? how odd,

But he finally felt at peace, finally, everything felt better, no longer heavy but now light and comforting.


End file.
